look past the fence and
you can see me ascending

**content warning: graphic imagery, gore, self-harm**

tonight crumples in on itself. its hair falls in piles next to its

feet, and it bends over with its jaws unhinged, clutching its

stomach. i watch the galaxies flood from its mouth, and it

convulses until the ground shakes beneath me. its body

goes flaccid in a pool of writhing stardust and burns. this is

far too beautiful to be called a death, but it is one

nonetheless. i look away, and i rub my throat with the back

of my discolored hand.

i shoot mars out of the sky and dig my nails into its skin. it

bursts like a balloon, releasing warm blood over my hands.

i brush the yellow foam away from its lips and lick it off my

fingers. it is sweet like clear wine; i wobble on my feet and

suck the liquid from the faucet. they say that intoxication is

like a numbing agent, and i wish i could become drunk

before daybreak snaps my neck.  

tonight smells like burning bodies. something drips on my

shoulder and i look up to see eternity lighting a match to

my hair. the skin blackens around my head and splits pink;

warm liquid pools around the blisters like moondust. i

stretch the wounds apart and see stars underneath the

burnt flesh. it is nauseatingly warm; i bury myself into the

flames and i laugh until i am crying. 

tonight, it feels like i am everywhere and nowhere at once.

i devour the cosmos and explode into a million shiny

pieces. i bury my fingers into the sky and slowly suck out

the light. i paint myself into the galaxies and breathe out a

crippling ephemerality. something feels so wrong yet so

right at the same time; my shadow hangs limp from the

tree branch. i smile. 

tonight, it feels like i can live forever.